Tag Archives: Royal Wedding 2011

“I GIVE IT SIX WEEKS”

“I GIVE IT SIX WEEKS”

Weekly editor’s outburst before Royal Wedding Speaking at a hastily convened press conference outside A1 pets on Constitution Street Shavers Weekly editor and all round nice guy Mr Frank Simpson (59) has confused journalists from The Evening News, Scotsman,
The Skinny and even his 
own publication we can 
exclusively reveal! GONORRHEA Firstly he seemed to congratulate… Continue Reading →

LOCAL BAR NOT HAUNTED

LOCAL BAR NOT HAUNTED

Evening News reporters ‘gutted’ at losing potential story A Leith Public House has been found to be no more haunted than Sir Cliff Richards’s underwear drawer it has emerged. Evening news reporters were said to be ‘Incandescent with rage’ at the thought of losing a potential story that could have kept them in business for… Continue Reading →

PRINCE NEDWARD!

PRINCE NEDWARD!

PRINCES VOYAGE OF VULGARITY STUNS LOCALS Residents were shocked in Scotland’s capital last month after a visit by Prince Edward. His late night outing has seen him dubbed Prince ‘Nedward’ by some of the nations tabloids. FRONT BUM First stop was Bottoms Up Showbar on Lothian Road where staff were both shocked and disgusted when… Continue Reading →