Tag Archives: Political Analysis

I’M NOT FLATULENT!

-Mcdonald hits back over holyrood roof claim. Flatulent SMP Margo McDonald hit back angrily at reports in the press that she is to blame over the current roof debaucle at Holyrood. Speaking exclusively to the Shavers weekly, The Scotsman, Attitude Magazine, Practical Fishkeeping, Cigar Afficiando and The Daily Record  McDonald flatly denied that her arse was… Continue Reading →

BACK IN THE CLOSET WITH TED HEATH

SPECIAL ‘BEYOND THE GRAVE’ FEATURE LAST MONTH deceased, broken hearted, enthusiastic sailor, somewhat musical and confirmed bachelour SIR EDWARD ‘There was only ever the one girl for me but she got married’ HEATH gave you, the reader a chance to vote by email (frank_fannydeeker_simpson@yahoo.co.uk) for one of six celebrites that most deserved to be placed ‘Back in… Continue Reading →

EDITOR OUTLINES G8 PLANS

EDITOR OUTLINES G8 PLANS

The seemingly irresistible political rise of Dunfermline based self made millionaire, lap dancing expert and ‘Shavers Weekly’ publisher Mr Frank Sinpson continued apace last night with a press conference at The Maltings on St Leonard Street (Vodka 50p a pop every Wednesday from 7pm onwards). KEBAB Speaking before journalists from all five continents, Simpson began… Continue Reading →

SHERIDAN IN TROUBLE AGAIN AFTER BEING CAUGHT IN WEEKLY REPORTERS BED

SHERIDAN IN TROUBLE AGAIN AFTER BEING CAUGHT IN WEEKLY REPORTERS BED

Following his dismissal from the SSP after The Shavers Weekly front-page expose exposed his sexual misdemeanours The Shavers Weekly can exclusively reveal that Tommy Sheridan has still not learnt his lesson. Matters were still very unclear at the point of going to press (the Weekly decided to print anyway) but it would seem that Mr… Continue Reading →

FIRST MINISTER DENIES CLAIM

Scotland’s first minister, Jack McConnell, has denied claims that he met local DJ Stuart Calvert at the City nightclub after the M.T.V. awards in Edinburgh last November. Calvert who DJ’s at “Talcum Explosion” on a Thursday night at CC’ Blooms has himself recently denied claims that he ‘played for the other side while dressed as… Continue Reading →

BALD NOT THE NEW BLACK

U.N. CONFIRMS WHAT LOYAL WEEKLY READERS HAVE KNOWN FOR YEARS…. The Beleaguered Untied Nations still has the power to step in and sort out the facts and judgements that really matter The Weekly is proud to reveal! SLAPHEAD CONSPIRACY Despite the best and most desperate efforts of Sir Sean Connery, ‘Jinkie’ Jimmy Johnstone and  pop sensation Paul… Continue Reading →