WHO REALLY READS THE SHAVERS WEEKLY

WHO REALLY READS THE SHAVERS WEEKLY

People (especially potential advertisers) are always asking who reads the weekly? and then, when they find out, they ask why do they read the weekly? Then, once they’ve ascertained that, next thing they want to know is which issues and how often. Then it’s which parts and why those parts and how often and which parts of those parts and so on and so forth: People can be so demanding and tiresome! So in order to avoid any more confusion and time wastage we’ve carefully constructed this pull out and throw away poster -part of our new range of calendars for the already doomed 2012 Olympics.

 

Our beloved, competent First Minister keep abreast of current affairs.
Arthur C - A true gent.

"This keen young catholic can’t help but get enough of the in depth articles, the weekly provides issue after issue."
"Even though Mr. Mowbray can’t read he likes to look at the pictures."
"A young Romanov Abramovich makes good use of an early issue of the Weekly."

WHAT THE ADVERTISERS SAY:

Dr Richard Forbes: Millionaire Businessman:
Yes I’d love to tell you all about the advantages about advertising in the Shavers weekly but because of that advertising I’m constantly having to start even more successful businesses. I can’t say to much about my latest venture but suffice to say it involves transporting pet hippos from their holiday homes in West Lothian to Fife to spend quality time at the weekend with their rich industrialists owners. It sounds long winded – But there’s money to be had I can assure you!

Alistair “Rock” Young: Renegade productions,
Amateur aquarist and ‘Competent’ footballer:
Yes I like to advertise in The Weekly, I find it excellent value but only because I have a secret agreement with the management which is as follows:

a) I get a full sales pitch conference with whichever sales rep happens to be available in which I get to add, at length, my form of dry sardonic wit.
b) We don’t have to meet during the day as I only go out at night.
c) We can make up a  more amusing story of  the real version of the way that I got my nickname ‘Rock’  and lastly and this is important .
d) I am never made to sound stupid or foolhardy in this often vindictive little publication.

George Duffin, Salesperson:
According to my accounts you owe me £3.57 from 2001! How much is it for a very, very small black and white advert? No don’t worry about the artwork! I’ll take care of all the artwork! Rest assured my trusty Acorn BBC microprocessor with cassette interface (pictured above) will take care of any artwork and graphics that I can throw at it.

Stuart Calvert DJ and Straight person:
I’ve never actually asked for an ad in The weekly as my ‘Talcum Explosion’ club downstairs at CC Blooms does very well thank you – but they keep putting them in anyway. Incidentally, I’m not gay.

Gerry Ritchie, Entrepreneur and Lothario:
I’ll have that artwork for you on Monday sharp, no really definitely, really I will..

Robert de Roberto Robertoford: Owner Fat Sams Tollcross:
I never bothered to advertise in The Shavers weekly when the nice people called to ask me and well, now…hmm. Maybe I should have.

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