HUGE LEAP FORWARD IN TECHNOLOGY PLACES WEEKLY IN WORLD SPOTLIGHT
After the news that The Shavers Weekly now has it’s own e-mail address. John Craven, Faye and ‘H’ from Steps are predicting that the little known and even less well-liked periodical could easily be leading the arms race within two years.
Speaking on ‘This Morning’ promoting their newly formed pop band ‘Shaven Craven and the Gruesomes’ the plucky trio explained their fears to an enthralled Fern Britten. Manly Craven took the lead, commenting “Now that The Weekly have their own e-mail address It’s only a small step before they develop their own nuclear arsenal and climb to the top of the premier league as far as the arms race is concerned. We shouldn’t really be complacent here – you must remember that it was the Weekly that first invented the fish finger and introduced the world to combining the bacon roll with HP sauce – Mark my words these are not stupid people. This new e-mail is the tip of the iceberg, my experiences of presenting Newsround and Countryfile have alerted me to this.” ‘H’ was more reserved “Nice dress Fern, it really suits your very, very generous figure.” He commented. Philip Scholfield then shocked viewers by running his hand through his luxuriant silver hair and saying absolutely nothing.
Could the Weekly form a serious threat to world Peace with the next 24 months? Tell us what you think on our ‘official’ e-mail address email@example.com
INSIDE YOUR FRIENDLY BUT CUTTING EDGE HI-TECH WEEKLY
Super-Glossy Monochrome ‘Lifestyle Indication-System’
ALL YOUR REGULAR WEEKLY FAVOURITES
BACK IN THE CLOSET with TED HEATH
THE CONTINUING ADVENTURES OF OLY THE ORANGE
lovingly hand drawn by David Coulthard
NUDE AT HOME
with Sir David Frost ‘Retired and Relaxing’
WHAT DOES IAN McSHANE ‘ REALLY THINK’ OF WAYNE SLEEP – AMAZING ARTICLE p21