TOM BAKER TO TAKE OVER WORLD

by Davina Mcall.

After his success as the increasingly tedious voice over on the brutally overrated comedy show “Little Britain. Tom Baker has unveiled plans that would see him taking over the world by 2011 (provided his chronic hemorrhoid situation does not worsen. reports Weekly potential tyrant correspondent Davina McCall.

WITCHY POO

McCall who herself intends to be in charge of all T.V. stations by 2009 has been concerned by the increasing amount of work the ageing  thespian  has been both offered and accepted. The first signs were his undertaking to to do 95% of all television advert voiceovers but then things became more sinister.   Last month he was asked to stand in  as the Russian leader by Vladamir Putin and  be the voice behind all his major speeches. Putin told us “That big fat booming Tom Baker is so funny and his time traveling abilities make him just the man for the job, also his line in big fancy scarves mean he could easily adapt to our changeable climate – I hear he is a big hit with the ladies though I have absolutly no idea why,”

LATE NEWS: ‘Increasing shy’ Osama Bin Laden has asked the rotund ex- time lord if he fancies taking over as leader of Al Queda. In a snap poll it was found that 98% of Weekly readers are hoping he will answer in the positive.

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