THE QUICK GUIDE TO DOING AN ALPINE STAGE OF THE TOUR DE FRANCE

VERY SPECIAL READERS BONUS!

THIS MONTH: GAP TO L’ALPE D’HUEZ.(187 km)

We’ve all seen it on the television and thought..fuck that. But now thanks to the Shavers Weekly (the paper that cares) you too can join in and cycle a stage of the Tour de France! Using the guide below and following all 11 steps very very carefully you will soon be able to brag to anyone that’ll listen to your drivel.

1. Watch the tour of France, get over excited and think ‘I could do that’

2. Fly to Lyon, france.

3. Lose bicycles at the airport.

4. Go out all night in Lyon on gubbies.

5. Wake up confused.

6. Go immediatetly to ‘Le Bizz’ public house (see above) and start drinking again.

7.Go to Gap and start Cycle stage.

8. Stop after 60km when arse explodes.

9. Continue bravely on for a further 127km.

10. Reach L’Alpe D’ Huez feeling pretty big in your pants.

11. Fly home quietly contented.

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