A RIGHT ROYAL HONEYMOON

A RIGHT ROYAL HONEYMOON

Now that they are wed and barring any nasty car accidents or horrible bulimic episodes the royal couple will be ready to get away from it all and relax – But where? The Weekly (The paper that cares) examines some of the worlds hotspots that the young couple might want to explore.

GSTAAD, SWITZERLAND

This may well be a beautiful mountainous country set in the heart of Europe with some of the finest scenery going but have you checked the price of a pint? The Weekly feels that the young Prince will want to go out for a few drinks and relax after completing the sexual act. Having already paid for a lavish wedding one feels that the purse strings will be tight. It’s not that there’s much in the way of happy hours either so this could be a no no for K&W. Weekly rating: Tepid.

Gstaaad
Gstaad: Expensive

BALLINGRY

Nestled in the beautiful ex mining area of West Fife Ballingry could be high on the list of the cock-gobbling twosome. The Fife town has a long history with the royal family – it was here that Edward first met MrsWallace Simpson at The Miners welfare club disco. Kate is known to love stockcar racing so the Cowdenbeath racewall is very handily placed in the next town meanwhile wills could test his skills at windsurfing at nearby Lochore meadows. Weekly rating: Incandescent!

The four hole golf scotland
The Fourth at Caird Par

DUNDEE

What better place to shag your new bride than Dundee and when your finished you can fuck off to the Card park nine holer for a game of golf while she gets her hair done in The Murraygate or goes to the local swimmies for a dip. Weekly rating: Hot!

5 sexy girls from dundee
Dundee: Last Wednesday

 

AIRDRIE

Airdrie is possibly the centre of the world…when it comes to Buckfast drinking that is! This could be advantageous for the in experienced young couple. After a few bottles of this caffeine infused tonic wine Wills and Kate may well find themselves being a lot more adventurous between the sheets. It is definitely good for a new couple to try new things and experiment with their sexuality – William might even find out he likes girls after all. Weekly rating: Sizzling!

Picturesque Village in Europe
A typical night out in Airdrie

 

ANYWHERE IN AFRICA

Nothing to see here! Been there done that. Yawn – a real turn off. Weekly rating: Cold.

WESTER HAILES

Situated on the outskirts of Edinburgh Wester Hailes housing scheme is an area that should Madonna being Britishbe high on the royals list. The couple would probably be very at home in the plush Wester Hailes Hotel. If they bore of the sumptuous surroundings and highbrow service in the hotel they could venture to the nearby shopping centre or take a cab to the delightful hamlet of Sighthill and admire the roundabouts or pop in for a drink in The Artful Dodger where they will be surrounded by lively likeminded souls. Weekly Rating: Turn down the heating – Hot!

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