MUSLIMS OUTRAGED AT WEEKLY

MUSLIMS OUTRAGED AT WEEKLY

Muslim leaders in Scotland took to the streets last night to show their anger at the little known and even less well liked publication ‘The Shavers Weekly

ALLOA F.C.

When asked if the protests were linked to the recent publication of cartoons in The Weekly which depicted Jack McConnell and the prophet mohammed arguing with CC blooms doormen about the chances of half price entry  they were adamant that this was in no way the problem. One man who had dressed up as McConnell (complete with a mutant Alloa supporter’s hairstyle) told us “No it’s nothing to do with any cartoons or views expressed in the publication –  the Weekly is just utterly shite! I mean to say month after month, season after season, year in year out, utter shite – We’re outraged that such a shoddy publication is allowed to continue. For all our sakes it should be stopped and stopped quickly thus making room for more professional offerings such as The Stockbridge Independent and The Broughton Spurtle”

"Protesters: Tiresome"

Speaking after hearing about the revelations, Shavers Editor and ex Olympic ski jump medalist, remained characteristically upbeat commenting ” Just to be mentioned in the same sentence as The Stocky Independent and The Spurtle is a great complement. The Weekly wins again!”

EXCLUSIVE!
MARGO MACDONALD’S FLATULENCE PROBLEM DESTROYS PARLIMENTRY ROOF!

PLUS!

Hi, I’m actor Jon Forsyth. I’ve played Blake Carrington, was ‘The Voice’ in Charlie’s Angels and I’ve never ever ever touched another mans penis.

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