ITS EASY JUST FOLLOW OUR 10-POINT PLAN.
Sponsored by Land of Leather®
The Choice for couch potatoes everywhere!
1. Go to Land of Leather® Straiton Park and buy a cheesy leather sofa.
Expect to pay 50% of a price tag that has recently been doubled.
2. Buy a selection of ‘Gentleman’s interest’ magazines.
3. Relax on said sofa. (Shoes off mind!)
4. Switch on television and start drinking heavily.
5. Buy another ‘more adult’ selection of ‘Gentleman’s interest’ magazines.
6. Remain on said sofa for about a month watching
a) The Ashes Series.
b) Re–runs of the Sweeney and Dads Army.
c) Neighbours and, more importantly, The OC.
7. Masturbate furiously at every possible opportunity.
8. Return to work rejuvenated having seen nothing in the festival.
9. Get sacked from Standard Life.
10. Write dodgy play with Arthur Smith for next years festival.