HUGH GRANT, our first celebrity bar reviewer, opens his heart topubspy@the vinegar stroke:

“I’ve been to the Opal Lounge a few times but it’s not really my scene, I’m more of a lager-and-pagger-shop kind of guy. I come here because I’m looking for love, I suppose, but once I find the right girl – looks aren’t important, a bubbly personality is – I’ll not be back. Once I get that ring on her finger I’ll be joining my local bowling club for to get my drink cheap. Plus there’s the bonus ball on a Saturday. That’s £40, and if I give that to her, that’ll do her for the messages for the week. Also the Golf Section’s forthcoming outing to the Caird Park 9-holer in Dundee interests me strangely.”

The Vinegar Stroke is the new glossy lifestyle magazine, free only with your Shavers Weekly. If you have not received your copy, rest assured that a crack team of technicians recruited from IBM, Microsoft and Shoefayre in the New Kirkgate are working night and day to solve the problem.

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