10 WAYS TO TELL THAT SHAGGY HAS NOT JUST BEEN ROUND TO ‘SORT OUT YOUR DODGY PLUMBING’

10 WAYS TO TELL THAT SHAGGY HAS NOT JUST BEEN ROUND TO ‘SORT OUT YOUR DODGY PLUMBING’

1. Shaggy seems different to when he started the plumbing. Cagey when asked about progress and generally overall more secretive.

2. When bedtime arrives your wife is wet and keen, but seems strangely distant.

3. After a few months of regular visits your plumbing seems no better than it was at the start – unlike your partners mood – which is a lot better to say the least.

4. Shaggy’s attitude towards you and your house is becoming more like a disgruntled adolescent. He’s almost just ‘treating it like a hotel.’

5. Shaggy’s pals seem overly happy and amused when you meet them.

6. When you offer him cash for the works he’s carrying out he refuses mumbling about already receiving ‘a fair quota.’

7. When quizzed about the continual loud banging in the bedroom he is very abrupt and tells you he is working on a new bassline for his latest chart smash “Actually it was me-several times”

8. Shaggy unexpectedly blurts out at dinner one evening that the name of his new C.D. is going to be called “Six times a night -when he’s on the night shift.”

9. When you jokingly accuse him of impregnating your wife, he turns round, looks you straight in the eye and insists, “It wasn’t me.”

10. Your first-born is a great dancer.

11. Tissue use in the household has gone up four fold.

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