Shavers Weekly editor, Mr Frank Simpson, is encouraging people to make their way round to Sir Bob Geldof’s house in protest at the G8.


“I don’t care how you get there, train, bike, aeroplane or hitching just get there don’t worry if you’re a bit short of cash Bob will probably chip in – he knows a lot about debt and that sort of thing. If he has a tenner and you have nothing – Bob sees it more like you both have a fiver – but he still has the knighthood and don’t you forget it. Kids, skip school and make your way there, make yourself heard. Mind you it’s July so you’ll be off on your holidays. But if you were at school you would bunk off wouldn’t you?”

"Smoking during the Tour- all part of the fun."


Police reaction to Mr Simpson’s rallying call has been mixed. Some officers feel that Mr Geldoff’s house in Hampstead may not be capable of holding several hundred thousand people and this invite is foolish and possibly dangerous. Others though, are thinking of popping round and joining in for a laugh. “Yeah, I think I’ll bunk off and catch the train down,” said constable Ian Loan of Penicuik. “There’s bound to be cakes and jellies and all the other sort of things that a professional policeman likes when skiving off. Bob will be too busy mouthing off about poverty, sniffing premium quality cocaine and staying in fancy hotels that he’ll probably not get back that night. I might kip in his bed. Whether I’ll knock one off or not is my business and my business alone – though I would say the chances are pretty high.”

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