Category Archives: Headlines

FLATULENT MSP BLAMED FOR SUBSIDENCE IN CITY

FLATULENT MSP BLAMED FOR SUBSIDENCE IN CITY

House prices in the City’s Royal mile plummeted yesterday after the shock announcement that ‘earthy’ SMP Margo McDonald is to visit St Marys Close below the city Chambers. Many surveyors have long held the belief that McDonald should be barred from the underground and supposedly haunted street. It’s feared that her unpredictable bowel movements could… Continue Reading →

FUNDAMENTALISTS NOT IN THE SLIGHTEST BIT BOTHERED ABOUT RELEGIOUS BIAS IN THE WEEKLY

FUNDAMENTALISTS NOT IN THE SLIGHTEST BIT BOTHERED ABOUT RELEGIOUS BIAS IN THE WEEKLY

HEADLINES CONTINUE TO GROW IN LENGTH! Responding to reports of religious favoritism in The weekly a group of fundamentalists have told reporters that they remain unmoved by the storm of protest. CONFLICT! “Lets all just relax and try to get on, here would you like a piece of my tangerine. Their really sweet and fresh… Continue Reading →

TOM BAKER TO TAKE OVER WORLD

by Davina Mcall. After his success as the increasingly tedious voice over on the brutally overrated comedy show “Little Britain. Tom Baker has unveiled plans that would see him taking over the world by 2011 (provided his chronic hemorrhoid situation does not worsen. reports Weekly potential tyrant correspondent Davina McCall. WITCHY POO McCall who herself… Continue Reading →

PRINCE NEDWARD!

PRINCE NEDWARD!

PRINCES VOYAGE OF VULGARITY STUNS LOCALS Residents were shocked in Scotland’s capital last month after a visit by Prince Edward. His late night outing has seen him dubbed Prince ‘Nedward’ by some of the nations tabloids. FRONT BUM First stop was Bottoms Up Showbar on Lothian Road where staff were both shocked and disgusted when… Continue Reading →

WEEKLY TO LEAD ARMS RACE WITHIN TWO YEARS

HUGE LEAP FORWARD IN TECHNOLOGY PLACES WEEKLY IN WORLD SPOTLIGHT After the news that The Shavers Weekly now has it’s own e-mail address. John Craven, Faye and ‘H’ from Steps are predicting that the little known and even less well-liked periodical could easily be leading the arms race within two years. ELECTRONIC HIGHWAY Speaking on… Continue Reading →