Category Archives: Local News

GET IT SORTED

YOU TELL US WHAT’S WRONG AND WE WILL MAKE SURE IT GETS FIXED (EVENTUALLY) NEWTOWN Who’s responsible: Not The Weekly, don’t go calling us. A big bald lad called Alexander McCall Smith that’s who you want to be dealing with or The council is responsible for the initial investigations of pooey smells – Tel: 0800 232323.… Continue Reading →

MYSTERIOUS BREAK-INS AT WEEKLY OFFICES

Editor and chief Mr Frank Simpson is to upgrade security at plush The Shavers Weekly offices – ‘Simpson’s Pants’ – in central Dunfermline. The move comes after a mysterious spate of break-ins in which all staff apart from Simpson have had their wages stolen. WAGE CUTS Speaking from the Mercedes showroom in Haymarket, Edinburgh, 59… Continue Reading →

WHY LEITH BEIGE ARE GETTING IT SO SO SO SO SO WRONG!

WHY LEITH BEIGE ARE GETTING IT SO SO SO SO SO WRONG!

with GUEST COLUMNIST SIR GEOFFREY BOYCOTT. Stupid, stupid, absolutely stupid. Middleton – Stupid, Heinitz  absolutely Stupid. Cornie –Stupid! Mckean – absolutely stupid. Nonsense it’s all nonsense. In my day it wouldn’t have been so stupid. Back to basics is what these lads need to learn. Moxy – stupid! Bilson! – Stupid! Why oh why oh why… Continue Reading →