Category Archives: Local News

WEEKLY TO LEAD ARMS RACE WITHIN TWO YEARS

HUGE LEAP FORWARD IN TECHNOLOGY PLACES WEEKLY IN WORLD SPOTLIGHT After the news that The Shavers Weekly now has it’s own e-mail address. John Craven, Faye and ‘H’ from Steps are predicting that the little known and even less well-liked periodical could easily be leading the arms race within two years. ELECTRONIC HIGHWAY Speaking on… Continue Reading →

GET IT SORTED

YOU TELL US WHAT’S WRONG AND WE WILL MAKE SURE IT GETS FIXED (EVENTUALLY) ARTHURS SEAT Who’s responsible: Not The Weekly, don’t go calling us that’s for sure. Historic Scotland are the people you want to telephone immediately Tel: 0131 225 9846 (ask for wee Rab) alternatively if you have the Internet. www.historic-scotland.gov.uk First Reported:… Continue Reading →

FANATICS BUM WEEKLY

SINISTER TERROR ATTACKS AT PLUSH OFFICES SHOCKS EDITOR The extremely plush Shavers weekly offices in Dunfermline have come under attack from what Editor Mr Frank F. W. de Simpson describes as ‘sinister mindless fanatics.’ Two separate incidents this month make worrying signs that the upmarket newspaper enjoyed by ordinary, sexually aware, families for generations may… Continue Reading →

OH NO IT’S THE FESTIVAL WANKS

TIRED OLD HEADLINE GETS INCLUDED DESPITE BEST EFFORTS OF EDITORIAL STAFF A genuinely tired Shavers Weekly editor, Frank Simpson,  apologised to regular readers yesterday at a hastily convened press conference held in the showroom of Grove Bedding in the Haymarket /Tollcross area. “With the “Oh No It’s The Festival Wanks!” I’ve created a monster that simply… Continue Reading →