Category Archives: August 2005

FANATICS BUM WEEKLY

SINISTER TERROR ATTACKS AT PLUSH OFFICES SHOCKS EDITOR The extremely plush Shavers weekly offices in Dunfermline have come under attack from what Editor Mr Frank F. W. de Simpson describes as ‘sinister mindless fanatics.’ Two separate incidents this month make worrying signs that the upmarket newspaper enjoyed by ordinary, sexually aware, families for generations may… Continue Reading →

OH NO IT’S THE FESTIVAL WANKS

TIRED OLD HEADLINE GETS INCLUDED DESPITE BEST EFFORTS OF EDITORIAL STAFF A genuinely tired Shavers Weekly editor, Frank Simpson,  apologised to regular readers yesterday at a hastily convened press conference held in the showroom of Grove Bedding in the Haymarket /Tollcross area. “With the “Oh No It’s The Festival Wanks!” I’ve created a monster that simply… Continue Reading →

GET IT SORTED

YOU TELL US WHAT’S WRONG AND WE WILL MAKE SURE IT GETS FIXED (EVENTUALLY) NEWTOWN Who’s responsible: Not The Weekly, don’t go calling us. A big bald lad called Alexander McCall Smith that’s who you want to be dealing with or The council is responsible for the initial investigations of pooey smells – Tel: 0800 232323.… Continue Reading →